Starting and ending with grace

Ask For What You Need

Why is it that we think that we can handle everything ourselves? Where did we get this idea? Do you try to manage everything in your life? The bigger question is – How is that working for you?

One of the biggest transitions in your life will be when you or someone close to you is having a baby. These are the times when we do need support, it’s that simple. However, often we won’t ask for it. Many couples can feel completely overwhelmed when they bring their baby home. Everything is new and unfamiliar – in other words, it is the beginning. Many new parents are unsure of what to do, they second guess if they are doing things right, and they are often exhausted. They question and judge themselves on everything such as:

  • why can’t we soothe fussy baby?

  • why is the house such a mess?

  • why can’t we sleep – will this baby ever sleep?

  • did I just change the diaper?

  • dinner – who has time to think about dinner?

  • will I ever have energy again?

  • will I shower today – did I shower yesterday?

  • did we pay the bills last month?

Days can blur together and situations similar to these can go on for weeks causing so much stress, which can lead to anxiety. However, in their minds they may be saying, people have babies all the time, what is wrong with me/us?

First of all, there is nothing wrong with anyone. Having a baby is a huge transition which you have to experience to understand. You can read all the books, scan the internet, read every mommy blog, talk to your friends, or talk to your own parents. Too much information can be overwhelming and the truth is that being a parent is experiential and often you will learn by the seat of your pants. It takes time to feel comfortable and allowing yourself to make mistakes (which are really learning opportunities) and forgiving each other will make the transition smoother. Everything is new and it takes time to adjust to this new stage in your lives.

This is exactly the time to ask for what you need, to ask for help. When we ask for help many feelings can arise because we may believe that we are weak. Actually, we are showing our vulnerability and there is nothing as real as this. Allowing yourself to express your needs, thoughts and feelings will open you up in ways you could never have imagined. It gets better. People will show up and support you if they understand what you need. The key is being clear, concise, and asking for what you need. Maybe you want to nap for a couple of hours or get some groceries. Perhaps you want someone to take the baby for a walk so you can clean the house. Better yet, you go for the walk and get them to clean your house. Your needs can be simple or complex; again the key is being clear and concise. People really do want to help and support the new family so ask for it and your lives will become less stressed and even peaceful.

Did you like this blog article? Leave me a comment below and let me know how this has helped you. To go deeper with this particular topic, listen to my radio interview on All Business Media FM.

The information and products described and sold on Circle of Life Centre’s website are for educational reference purposes only and are not intended to diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. Also, they are not a substitution to the advice given by a physician or other health care provider. Testimonials given are personal experiences.