End of Life
I support people who are nearing the end of their life to die with dignity and respect. I also guide the family through the transition so they can cope with their loss.
The idea of death makes people uneasy. Many don’t want to think or discuss death and it ends up being the elephant in the corner of the room that no one is willing to address. Westerners are afraid of death. We are a youth obsessed culture and observe aging as a sort of failure. We are told that aging can be fought, just look at the products on the market. Everything is anti-aging. We nip and tuck ourselves into believing that we are still young. Aging is a natural process that we should embrace. What if we shifted our mindset and knew it as “Graceful Aging.” Everyone is going to die and if we truly acknowledged this, people would live completely in the moment and see life as a gift to be lived to its fullest. When we see death as an extension of life, we can prepare for it in a conscious, healthy way. You don’t have to wait until it’s too late to start preparing. If you are interested in learning how to start preparing today, contact me.
CREATING A PEACEFUL, NURTURING, AND SACRED ENVIRONMENT
Creating a peaceful and sacred space for the person who is dying is so important whether they have chosen to die at home, are in palliative care, or in hospice. Ask your loved one what they want – not what you think they want. If you are able, remove all toxic substances from the environment and replace them with natural alternatives. Having soothing music playing and diffusing a scent will calm the mood and bring relief to the person. Soft lightening, flowers, a favourite blanket or pillow will bring comfort. In the case your loved one cannot read, reading to them or listening to audio books can help them feel connected. Ask the person and listen to what they want. Being heard can help calm their anxiety and bring comfort.
FEARS AROUND DEATH
It is important to discuss the fears that the person has around death. The real point is that people are afraid of death because it is unknown. What is death? What will happen to me? Will I no longer exist? Do I live on? In what form will I live on? Does God really exist? Did I lead a good life? Did I matter? Do I have regrets? Will I be remembered? These are just some of questions that will arise as the person comes to the end of their life. It is important to address questions so that the person can have the most peaceful transition that is possible. Having their needs met, making them comfortable, and honouring their wishes is a gift that we all deserve.
DISCUSSING A DEATH PLAN
Many people do not discuss their wishes and let their family and/or the medical professionals take the lead. These can be uncomfortable conversations to have with the family prior to death, but they are necessary so that everyone respects the wishes of the dying person. Do you have an Advance Care Plan? Who do you want to make your healthcare decisions if you can’t? What kind of treatment do you want? What kind of treatment don’t you want? What level of comfort do you want? How do you want to be treated? What do you want your loved ones to know?
Everyone deserves to die with dignity and respect. This is your life and your wishes need to be discussed and addressed. Having advance directives leaves no confusion for your loved ones because they will know exactly how you want to be treated.
A life review is a process where the person follows the timeline of their life. Everyone has amazing life stories and the purpose of this is to see and understand the major events that happened throughout their life. These events could have been happy or sad. This does not matter, because the point is to understand how these events influenced their life. Going through this process can be very illuminating for the dying person and having someone listen to them can be extremely healing.
Most people have difficulty forgiving people for situations that happened in their past. Often they are holding a grudge for something that happened many years earlier. When people are unable to forgive they become a victim and have feelings of anger, resentment, guilt, shame, or jealously. These feelings are not expansive and never make them happy. Instead, they hold onto them and suffer, creating a form of prison in their heart. Being willing to forgive the person involved and yourself is the first step to healing. The second is to look at the situation from a higher place seeing both peoples’ perspectives. People hurt each other because they are in pain and are projecting their pain out towards another person. Asking for a higher power to support you will bring enormous relief. When a person forgives, they are able to find peace because it opens the heart and sets them free of their anguish.
COMMUNICATION IN A SAFE AND OPEN WAY
Many people feel that when they communicate they are not heard or are put down. Perhaps they grew up in a home where thoughts and feelings were not encouraged so they learned to suppress what they wanted to say and how they felt. When a person is coming to the end of their life it is important that they can express themselves in an open way and feel safe to do so. Everyone deserves the right to be heard. Thoughts and emotions can be very raw at this time and many feel overwhelmed and may shut down. Having support during this time will encourage the family to go to deeper levels of awareness, resolve issues, and bring comfort.
SUPPORTING THE BODY, MIND, & SPIRIT
Being in a hospital room for hours on end can be depressing for both the patient and the family. No one likes being in the hospital and often people have no idea what to do when they’re there. They will sit for long periods of time feeling uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be this way. Many people, at the end of life, are touch-deprived and often the family is afraid to touch them for fear of hurting them. A family member can be taught how to gently massage a person’s hands and feet, to clear their chakras, read a book to them, or make them a calming herbal tea. There are many natural remedies that can support the person physically and emotionally. Essential oils can be diffused in the room to lift the mood and living plants will clean the air and put a smile on a persons face. These simple gestures may seem insignificant but will bring enormous comfort to both the dying person and the family members.
LOVE NEVER DIES
Two of the biggest fears around death are what is going to happen to me and will I be remembered? Why do we think that when someone dies it is the end? Where did these ideas come from? The bigger question is — are they true? Science is beginning to understand that we are consciousness and energy, something the mystics have known forever. Einstein proved energy exists forever. Based on this fact, we know that the body will cease to exist but our consciousness or soul never dies. Our love for each other does not die when someone passes. The dying are still with us just in a different form, we are still connected and continue to love each other. This realization can bring enormous relief to the family and they can be taught how to connect and dialogue with each other after the loved one has passed.
SUPPORTING MEDICAL & HOSPICE STAFF
Communication is the key to working with health care providers. Asking questions, active listening, and having family discussions empower everyone. They bring peace to a stressful time. When everyone is in agreement of how the patient is to be cared for, there will be fewer misunderstandings. The medical staff is very busy and may not be able to provide the support you want for your loved one. The family can fill this void by doing simple tasks which will help them to feel more connected and supported. The more involved the family is with their loved one the easier the transition will be.
Cycles of Life
And How They Affect Your Health
Circle of Life Centre is designed to bring together various holistic healing modalities located in a natural setting. The mission of the Centre is to support those who are either beginning their journey in life or are in their twilight years. At the Centre we take you through a journey of healing based on where you are in your life. You may be at the beginning and starting a new life with your partner and baby. On the other hand, you or someone you love is at the end of life. It does not matter where you are on life’s journey. There is always support.
Leanne Labadie“Robyn’s healing energy is warm, grounded and nurturing. She has an angelic nature about her. I am going through a situation with a loved one and it has been very stressful and trying on me. Robyn has helped me to see that I am grieving what was and she has encouraged me to be present, grounded and to stay focused on the bigger picture. I am grateful for her wisdom and awareness. She is a gifted healer.”
Susan Wright“Robyn has helped me gain insight, wisdom, and profound healing through my grieving process. After losing both my parents in a short period of time, I was seeking information and guidance to navigate unresolved feelings rooted in trauma. She is an amazing resource of knowledge, and her unique abilities have been invaluable to me. Thank you Robyn.”
Alannah Leigh, Doula“I needed an Essential Oil Kit for my birth bag and I was so glad to have worked one-on-one with Robyn on this custom order. She has such in-depth knowledge. I was blown away on how well she knew what essential oils I would need and the particular dosages required to be safe for babies and pregnant mothers.”
Marie Chang“I came to see Robyn after my brother passed away suddenly. I was shocked and going through the usual emotions of losing a loved one; anger, sadness, and great sense of loss. Robyn showed great caring and understanding and helped me to feel supported by listening, applying Natural Healing techniques and determining what I needed at that time. I think anyone suffering from grief and loss could benefit from what she has to offer.”
Trudy Jakobsen“I have known Robyn Wyman for over 16 years. We met at Douglas College where we both were studying Aromatherapy. Robyn’s honesty and integrity shows in all endeavours she pursues. She has a gift of imparting her knowledge to others, showing a more natural and healthy way of living by using and making products that are not harmful to our bodies or the environment. A natural born healer of mind, body, and spirit.”
Valri Cunningham“Robyn has very soothing energy and it has been very easy for me to open up to her. She puts you at ease in the first moments of meeting her. She is a pleasure to work with.”
Nicole Seeger“Robyn has a true gift helping people with her plant medicine wisdom. Her rich experience, education, practical and intuitive understanding of what is needed when is unparalleled. She has helped myself, my husband and both of my kids to heal infections, colds, flus and supported us during times of grief and trauma. She has also been a wealth of wisdom when it comes to applying her vast knowledge for our general emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. It’s such a blessing to have Robyn’s loving and caring hands and deep wisdom close by to support and heal us whenever needed.”
Janet Katalinic“Not only does Robyn have an innate sense of understanding what it means to suffer loss and have compassion for the topic of grief based on her own vast personal experiences but she has an amazing arsenal of coping strategies that she draws upon to help you with your own individual situation such as she did when helping me with coping with my ailing mother. In particular, she has helped me be self-aware and control the way I react to my mother to keep peace within myself rather than fight a situation that can’t be changed. This has been both very healing and inspiring, allowing me to spend my energy in a more positive, meaningful way.”
Just as the fern gently unfolds to expand into its beautiful fullness, our hearts are spiralling into the truth that we are one.
- Robyn Wyman -